图书标签: 心理 心理学 个人成长 性格 美国 英语 英文原版 至少不似想您般奧妙
发表于2024-07-17
Quiet pdf epub mobi txt 电子书 下载 2024
At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie’s birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts.
Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert."
This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.
Q: Why did you write the book?
A: For the same reason that Betty Friedan published The Feminine Mystique in 1963. Introverts are to extroverts what women were to men at that time--second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent. Our schools, workplaces, and religious institutions are designed for extroverts, and many introverts believe that there is something wrong with them and that they should try to “pass” as extroverts. The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and, ultimately, happiness.
Q: What personal significance does the subject have for you?
A: When I was in my twenties, I started practicing corporate law on Wall Street. At first I thought I was taking on an enormous challenge, because in my mind, the successful lawyer was comfortable in the spotlight, whereas I was introverted and occasionally shy. But I soon realized that my nature had a lot of advantages: I was good at building loyal alliances, one-on-one, behind the scenes; I could close my door, concentrate, and get the work done well; and like many introverts, I tended to ask a lot of questions and listen intently to the answers, which is an invaluable tool in negotiation. I started to realize that there’s a lot more going on here than the cultural stereotype of the introvert-as-unfortunate would have you believe. I had to know more, so I spent the past five years researching the powers of introversion.
Q: Was there ever a time when American society valued introverts more highly?
A: In the nation’s earlier years it was easier for introverts to earn respect. America once embodied what the cultural historian Warren Susman called a “Culture of Character,” which valued inner strength, integrity, and the good deeds you performed when no one was looking. You could cut an impressive figure by being quiet, reserved, and dignified. Abraham Lincoln was revered as a man who did not “offend by superiority,” as Emerson put it.
Q: You discuss how we can better embrace introverts in the workplace. Can you explain?
A: Introverts thrive in environments that are not overstimulating—surroundings in which they can think (deeply) before they speak. This has many implications. Here are two to consider: (1) Introverts perform best in quiet, private workspaces—but unfortunately we’re trending in precisely the opposite direction, toward open-plan offices. (2) If you want to get the best of all your employees’ brains, don’t simply throw them into a meeting and assume you’re hearing everyone’s ideas. You’re not; you’re hearing from the most vocally assertive people. Ask people to put their ideas in writing before the meeting, and make sure you give everyone time to speak.
Q: Quiet offers some terrific insights for the parents of introverted children. What environment do introverted kids need in order to thrive, whether it’s at home or at school?
A: The best thing parents and teachers can do for introverted kids is to treasure them for who they are, and encourage their passions. This means: (1) Giving them the space they need. If they need to recharge alone in their room after school instead of plunging into extracurricular activities, that’s okay. (2) Letting them master new skills at their own pace. If they’re not learning to swim in group settings, for example, teach them privately. (3) Not calling them “shy”--they’ll believe the label and experience their nervousness as a fixed trait rather than an emotion they can learn to control.
Q: What are the advantages to being an introvert?
A: There are too many to list in this short space, but here are two seemingly contradictory qualities that benefit introverts: introverts like to be alone--and introverts enjoy being cooperative. Studies suggest that many of the most creative people are introverts, and this is partly because of their capacity for quiet. Introverts are careful, reflective thinkers who can tolerate the solitude that idea-generation requires. On the other hand, implementing good ideas requires cooperation, and introverts are more likely to prefer cooperative environments, while extroverts favor competitive ones.
珊·凯恩,毕业于普林斯顿大学和哈佛法学院。曾经是华尔街律师,现从事谈判、沟通技巧教育。她在内向、羞怯等主题上的文章经常发表于《纽约时报》和《今日心理学在线》。
译者简介:
高洁,生于山东,于香港城市大学获得传播与新媒体硕士;翻译爱好者,公关业中人。
读完更了解自己,也更喜欢自己了。
评分真心地喜欢这本书,每天到处搜罗碎片时间一点点往后啃 能感觉到作者和自己是同一国的人,在书里能找到各种直觉的理论和数据支持,印证自己直觉实为人生一大乐事
评分被最后一章打动,满满的都是爱
评分So what's important really is that our egos and self-esteem builds when we know ourselves better and we become more comfortable with who we are, whatsoever. We do need such books that make us introverts at ease when the rest of the world advocates extroverted qualities.
评分三星半,友好对待安静的内向型,关键是要有爱。
1、给内向者的建议:在周末的时候尽量保持自己安静的本性,在工作日里努力“走出自己的世界,流露出混合的性格,跟你的团队和同事联系,调动起你可以控制的一切能量”。(而如果你是个外向的人,你应该让你的周末回归本我变得疯狂起来,上课的时候专注于学业。) 2、你在某些领...
评分上级推荐我读这本书。我一看书名——《安静-内向性格的竞争力》,警惕与羞愧立马竖起。 为何不认同别人说我“内向”?我在书中找到了答案。 内向性格在长期以来的社会观念中是“低劣”的,相对于总能大声发出自己声音的外向性格,它更是没有竞争力的。但实际上喜欢安静独处...
评分“你知道我别无所求,只想有个安静的环境写写东西”,当我在校园里来来回回,来来回回地走,心心念念,心心念念地只有这句话。我不知道看起来偌大的校园,我要去哪里才能找到,才能找到一处没有白天和黑夜,没有喧嚣和吵闹,没有成群结队,没有熟人朋友的地方,任由我高兴就写...
评分这本书让我改变了很多对自己对他人的了解观念。更加客观的描述内向者和外向者的性格区别,只是里面举得例子,对于成长在中国的好多内向孩子,不太符合。美国的家庭教育大部分尊重孩子的想法,而在中国,内向的孩子则是伴随着更加彻底绝望的否定中成长的,他们需要破除童年阴影...
评分还记得从一次偶然的机会得知,内外向性格的并不是以传统的健谈与否,安静与否来划分。“外向的人更倾向从外部世界寻找力量,而内向的人更倾向关注自己的内部世界”。第一次,我开始怀疑自己的性格,到底应该划分为内向,抑或外向。 你有没有过这样的经历:对陌...
Quiet pdf epub mobi txt 电子书 下载 2024